Fired Up...

...both mentally and physically. I'm enjoying the cold day hot flashes. I can't remember if that means my estrogen is likely low or likely high from a cyst. I could google it, but ignorance is bliss, so I'm choosing to stay ignorant (against my nature). I've justified it in my mind that b/c women in menopause take estrogen replac.ement therapy to calm down their hot fla.shes (I think), my estrogen must be low (makes sense to me). I have no idea if that is right, but I like that explanation, so I'm going with it. Along with riping off my clothes every hour or so, I also have many moods to keep Mr. ebc "entertained"--the majority of them are angry, irate, frustrated, upset and irrational, one is sad and one is happy. Sure, we all have those moods normally, right? For me though they are all making a grand entrance in the span of about 10 minutes. I admit, some of it is likely the medicine, but some of it is the placebo effect of not having the mental capacity/energy to reign it all in and knowing I can (maybe?) blame the meds (if that's even a side effect...again, not googling b/c I just don't care to be proven wrong). Anyways, assuming we both survive this weekend together, we'll venture off to my suppression check tomorrow early am. HOPEFULLY I'm good and suppressed and ready to move onto stims. If not, we'll have to scrounge up another Gan.irelix somewhere b/c I'll have to take it tomorrow night again and obviously can't get same day shipping via mailorder. But, we aren't going to worry about that b/c hopefully I'll be suppressed and am not having these lovely symptoms b/c of a cyst!

ETA: I have to say, that you if you are reading this wondering how in the world, after 4 IVF's I have no idea if my symptoms mean I'm suppressed or growing a humongous cyst, I can understand your confusion and the aghast look on your face as you read this. I have it too. I too have no idea why I can't remember whether when I had these symptoms before it was when I was suppressed finally or when I was stimming or when I was brewing a cyst. I mean, I did pay close to attention during each and every cycle. But, I guess it's because I didn't record it and the consecutive 4 IVF's just really ran together. We would finish one cycle, fail it, then start another, round and round the toilet bowl of chaos. And, thus, I can't remember when I felt what. Though I know I have felt this before. On some medication. During some phase. So at least it's familiar I suppose. Even though I have no idea what it means. Which is really ok b/c it allows me to make up and enjoy my own reality until proven otherwise. Luckily, the mystery will be solved quite early tomorrow am (and I think I'll be suppressed just b/c my body won't be awake yet given the pre 7AM appt time).