thanks you and loose ends

First off....a humble thank you for the support last night. You all are amazing...you get it and say that or don't totally get it but don't say that. Serious kuddos to stepping up with some fabulous comments full of empathy and sympathy (or for not judging and keeping your fingers still).

Today, both the husband and I agreed that we felt a bit free-er than we have in a long time. That's a good feeling people, it really is! Sure, we're scared and unsure because we don't know what the next step is, but we are as peaceful as possible about it not being another IVF cycle. Last night, we started to talk about what do we do now. IVF has been our life...and now it's time we get a different one. We've discussed sperm donor, and that's very much a viable route, especially financially. In all honesty, though, pregnancy terrifies me (confirmed again by the feelings of total fear as my BF went into labor yesterday), but there are aspects of "that" I'd miss. We also discussed adoption again. Financially, this is not an option for at least the remainder of 2011 (but we have *time* as we only turn 30 and 35 this year). When it does become an option financially, though, we are becoming more open to international adoption for the first time. Maybe even a sibling group. I don't know, it's just the beginning of my mind going in that direction, so we'll see, but for now, that idea kind of excites me (in my idealized brain world that is...which I know isn't the real world).

For the immediate future though, and our lovely spring, we are focused on living and reconnecting (that's a cheesy word...basically I mean spending quality time together doing fun things outside and having lots of sex...maybe also outside ;) )