Back at the beginning...sort of

Three-ish years ago, at the beginning of our infertility medical treatment endeavor, we underwent an HSG and SA, like most infertility patients do. Insert three years of failed treatments, three lost heartbeats, a large slice of hell on earth, and oh, look, we are back undergoing an HSG and SA next week. Wait, I think my head just exploded from whipping back around to square one after all that.

It's the same thing from the beginning...but different because we are at the end...or a new beginning I suppose. Because this time, we know the doc (which will be my RE because he absolutely insisted it be no one else after all I've been through) needs to take a sharp left turn with that catheter....which we didn't know last time (insert loads of pain and four sets of metal devices from aiming straight back...you won't find my cervix straight back...you'll find a vagina I supposed that really doesn't want anything to do with accepting a catheter). It's also different this time because the SA is being done as a last ditch look at the husband's ever-wavering counts, with a large dose of hope that his fluke good counts from last summer are back and his crap counts from this winter were actually the fluke. And finally, it's different because the entire point is to establish that my single tube is still open and ready for insemination...either with the husband's borderline swimmers (assuming they are at least) or with some stranger's adopted Y-genes (which is okay too, because those come with a large dose of hope too, which we really don't have for an IUI with our own parts anymore).

Of course, we were splashed with a bit of cold water when talking with the doc today, as he mentioned that while he fully believes my fluke (see a trend) cycle last month of a "mature" egg on day3, ov on day6 and 21d cycle was related to the IVF drugs from the month before...there is a slight chance that my eggs/cycle actually are now (like overnight??) dysfunctional. I however refuse to believe that as I have always been regular and ovulated around d11 with 25-28d cycles. I realize that's a bit early and short...but it's still normal enough for an IUI. If last month's fluke cycle is my new normal (f-u universe, by the way...crap eggs and menopause at 29?!? Really?!?!), then an IUI is out. Which puts us doing nothing at all.

For now though, I'm not waisting my worrying energy on the possibility of dysfunctional eggs/cycle or menopause at 29. Not yet at least. Instead, we look forward to a repeat HSG and SA next week...with high-ish hopes for an open tube and amazingly good counts.