Still here...still not doing IVF

I'm around. I've been lurking, commenting some. I have basically nothing to say IF related--we BD'd our best this month according to CM, though it seemed to have made it's debut later than usual (though I thought I also saw it a few days ago and usually it only lasts for two days...so I'm confused and have made the husband play all week just in case). Cycle may still be screwed up from the drugs, or just screwed up from life. I think I'm going to ovulated around d17 (tomorrow...way late for me), so we'll see. I have this odd, stupid, unrealistic hope, probably just b/c we had the HSG done. That was normal--my single tube was nice an open (Side note: my doc rocked it...no pain, didn't even know he had started...after pealing me off the ceiling while screaming the first time (different doc), I about cried from relief this time). Anyways. So, it's not like that would realistically change our chances, but I still feel hopeful, especially because/in spite of, this month being our 4 year anniversary of TTC. Wow, what a hellish 4 years since naively announcing to our family we were going to start trying for a baby (stupid, stupid, stupid).

So, yeah, besides loading up on pineapple (once an IF'er...always an IF'er), I'm staying busy with non-IF activities! I'm still dancing and loving it...such a fun, freeing workout! I don't think about anything besides being in the moment during class...such a nice escape! I'm also learning to knit (for when I danced too hard and can't walk the next class). Not crap baby blankets (though, universe, I am happy to start should you give me a reason...hint hint). I've tried to learn before from my mother. It always ended in me throwing the needles across the room saying, I'll just go buy a blanket/scarf/wash rag. Anyways, given my high load of recent stress, I held little hope for this attempt from a patience standpoint, except I'm learning from someone-not-my-mother with a group of others. And, I have to say, whether it's that or whether I need the repetition of something that I can get better at, I love it this time! I'm totally addicted. I actually do find it quite calming. Plus, I've got a couple of cute patterns I can't wait to try (I still have two out of three classes left so it'll be a bit) and yes, some of the patterns are for kiddos, but they are cute knitted toys. And I do have somethings already for our someday kid, so I'm okay with trying adding some of my own knitted toys to my hope chest. Others are not for kids...they are just cute fun things for me (knitted felted flowers to put on a knitted beret, etc).

So, I guess that's what's going on here. Enjoying the warmer weather, enjoying the weeks without clinic visits and enjoying new hobbies and interest....yeah, life after IVF is life.