newborn diaper covers

When I first decided to try CDing, I knew that I wanted to do it from the first day home (some do it even the hospital, but I don't really remember my days in the hospital thanks to being very drunk on per.co.cet, so I'm glad I didn't push it, plus, I was quite immobile for all but the last 10 hours of my stay.) Anyways, the more I read, the more I learned that yes, newborn CDing is possible, but with the little guy we were expecting to deliver, one sized covers would likely not fit for a little while. In reality, that was more than true. He tipped the scales at 7lbs in the OR with long skinny legs but was down in the 6.5 lbs arena for the first week or two. He in fact is still wearing two of his newborn specific covers and only just in the last two weeks fits satisfactorily in his one size covers (many of which say they start at 7lbs or 9lbs). Anyways, all that to say, I'm glad that I scoured the internet looking for reviews of newborn covers for little legs. However, it took hours, so I'm putting it out here myself. I have no doubt it's other places, but I found it scattered and lots of the reviews I saw are not for newborn specific covers or not for smaller, skinner newborns (because the ones people say work would not have worked for us, as they are just now working).

My favorite newborn covers for for day 5+ for my skinny guy were (ack, "were"...guess he's not truly a newborn anymore!):

1) Mommy's Touch from Green Mountain Diapers (see above): Great for cord dip and still fitting at 11lbs. Not a wipe clean inside, but I did like having something soft touch his brand new skin. Leg elastics were soft and double snaps (next to each other, not on top of each other) helped keep the wings of the front piece from lowering (and thus the leg holes were kept tight).

2) Bummis Super Bright Hook and Loop from Green Mountain Diapers or Nicki's Diapers: Also worked well with cord dip (but my guy did have a long body) and fit till about 9-10lbs. Wipe clean inside and hook and loop made it easy to adjust tightness. Double gussets around legs were great!

3) Rumparooz Newborn (versus their one size) from Nicki's Diapers: Great for cord dip because of elastic front edge that held front down a bit. Two snaps are on top of each other, so waist and legs can have different tightness. Still fitting at 11lbs on middle rise and last or next to last set of snaps. Wipe clean inside and little more flexible (less stiff) than Bummis. Also, love that leg elastic is not white, as EBF poop does stain a bit, and double gussets are great too! Moving into their one size and still loving them--using the hook and loop which Nicki's also carries. Again, love that they have lots of colors and a few prints, but all have colored leg elastics, so I think they'll stay nicer looking longer, which is a good thing for a one size cover!

4) Bummis Super Lite Hook and Loop from Nicki's Diapers: This cover fit well, was easy to adjust and the wider leg elastic was soft, as was the whole cover. That said, the leg elastics would wick a little easier than to other covers so I had to stay on top of changing this was regularly. Honestly, though, I really only bought this cover because it was the only red, newborn sized one I could find (rumparooz was out of stock), and I wanted red for Christmas pictures! But, it turned out to be a great fitting cover!

5) Bummis Original: I did not like this cover. It fit well, dipped below the cord...but had sharp cornered hook and loop taps and got ridiculously messy each time the kid pooped. It just didn't hold the prefold in place at all and was too flimsy to keep the mess in well at all. Maybe out guy has too flat a bum, I don't know. However...this cover served one great purpose--newborn pictures. We took pictures with just a diaper on and having a white cover was perfect! I saw pictures of newborns in disposables, and I'm sorry, but having a slight fluffier butt with a smooth texture was definitely what I prefered. Now, if you have a girl, you can just put a cut little whatever you call it on her...but for a boy, well, this is a great option for diaper-only pictures. I'm so glad I had this in our stash on picture day!

Lots of people I read love the prowrap and litewrap. I bought four litewraps. And they didn't fit until this week using his crazy bulky nighttime combination. I tried him in them early on and it was a mess because they just didn't get tight enough around him in any direction! Also, some have found great success from day one with Thirsties Duo 1. I have one, and I love it, but it didn't start fitting until about 9-10lbs. These options might work great for some and they are probably the ones who can skip the newborn specific covers all together. However, without our newborn covers, I wouldn't have been able to CD from the start or would have gotten so discouraged with leaks from too-big covers.

thank you

to whomever submitted the news of the safe arrival of our little guy to LFCA...thank you...that meant a lot to me that you'd both to take the time to do that. goodness knows, we've all dreamed of seeing our blog mentioned in that section, so it was a wonderful, meaningful surprise to see mine pop up there!

New Year's Eve came a wee bit early

After contractions went from BH to real and forced the removal of my cerclage on Monday, my twitchy uterus progressed into real labor instead of calming down. So my scheduled csection for yesterday was moved up to Monday night.

Our healthy baby boy arrived safe and sound only 12 days early, weighing in at just over 7 lbs., and is deemed full term. We are all home now trying to figure out things out. The boxes from baby stuff we've ordered over the last few months have finally been thrown away- the fear of needing to return them gone, the last sharps container left with the LandD nurse, and the chapters of the book beyond pregnancy stages are hurridly being read.

This UU will never understand why she has been allowed to be so lucky.

the anxious root

Thanks for your encouragement on my last post. I know it likely probably definitely came across kinda bratty. This one might too.

I think the root of the problem is somewhat about my mother but is really about my extreme anxiety over delivery (c-section or pushing...either freaks me out) and actually having our take home baby. I still can't imagine it as I stare at the crib each night. I'm terrified it will come home with us and terrified it won't. I never imagined getting and staying pregnant, let alone living in a tiny apartment without a nursery, in a city where we know not a soul. It frightens me that I have no experience with babies and no one to call for help with said baby. I've looked into a postpartum doula and a child caring class though should I get to that completely overwhelmed, huddling mass in the corner stage (or maybe right before that).

But I'm still incredibly anxious and terrified about it all. From the hospital door to the apartment door.

People keep talking about having a birth plan. Turns out, all my choices and decisions have been made for me with this c-section. That is really depowering/unempowering (whatever the opposite is of empowering) during such a private, vulnerable, scary time. The date isn't arguable (my doctor only works in the OR one a day a week and he won't do the week before). The hospital policies are set (baby goes to the warming table immediately after delivery then to the nursery for an hour or so. The OR is too cold (verified during cerclage placement) to differ from that plan.). The catheter (I really really don't want someone so closely staring and touching me there) is nonnegotiable and will be left in 24 hours because of the pain meds being administered.

So, I'm literally just along for the ride. And for a control freak who has already lost almost completely control over any aspect of this experience, that is frightening and overwhelming.

Not to mention that I just don't do surgery. I know that I can survive the epidural/spinal at least, so that's a bit comforting. I know that the medical team is good and caring (on the whole from what I've experience my four times visiting L&D).

But I don't do anticipation well. At all.

Instead of setting an end date, I would have rather just gone along until one day the doctor calls and says, today's the day, come on in. But, that's impossible, so I need to do the distraction thing again as was suggested in your lovely comments. I was doing that pretty well with knitting and kiddo related research until about a week or so ago. We have what we need for the kiddo and I can't focus my brain long enough to knit anymore (concerning, eh?). My mind just races in half complete thoughts like a jumble of words. Today though, I am trying to distract with baking.

And I know that at the end of the day, none of this will matter. So what if I'm unempowered, embarrassed and fumbling diapers with all our family gathered around telling me I'm doing it wrong and it's all about their needs...I'm not far gone to realize this is the best, most wanted problem of my life. Now if I could just calm my brain down until we get to that point.

still here...still pregnant

Yes, I'm still here and in fact, still pregnant. No micropreemie for us. Still might be a preemie, but at 36 weeks, the hope for a take home kiddo continues to slightly increase each week. (On a medical note--I'm not sure how long this 17P progesterone goodness has been around or been used for unicornuate uterus folks, but I credit my continuing-to-stretch-towards-full-term-UU-ability with it's magic-ness, along with a big healthy of shear miracle). I've written many posts in my head but am having great difficulty starting or finishing anything recently, and thus the silence.

Anyways, I continue to take things super easy around here. I rarely leave the apartment, which I'm sure is an indication of some sort of underlying problem, but the thought of going out to do much of anything is either not worth it or completely overwhelming. My anxiety continues to be at an all time high, completely exasperated by a situation I created myself (hey, if you want something done well, do it yourself right?). The slightly short story is--my doc has been saying all along that if I actually made it past Tgiving, he planned to welcome our kiddo to the world no later than mid-Dec (say, the 16th-ish-a day or so shy of 38w)). Well, last week, he now says that the 16th is a little sooner than he'd like and he'd rather push us towards 38w6d for the c-section (kiddo is now breech again and likely stuck that way given my half uterus is like half a first grader drawn heart--more room at the top for the head than at the bottom). Note, 38w6d is the day before I invited both sets of our parents to come to down to meet our "week old newborn" (other note: I'd rather it just be me and DH and kiddo...but he desperately misses his big family holidays and I felt like I was being a brat keeping people away, so given the immunity the kid is born with and will get thru BF and the holiday timing, I decided to try to share and play well with others with the caveat that you can come...but only for three days and only for short visits during the day that will end when nap or feeding time begins).

Anyways, needless to say, I am now freaking out because while having family around for the hospital time may be some people's dream...it's one of my top 5 birthing nightmares. I mean, I like privacy, especially during such a naked, vulnerable experience. But, travel reservations are very expensive to change and/or unchangeable. At least I'll have no quite 24 hours to begin to recover before they flood my room. Woo.

But even better (this is the only pro I have found so I keep repeating it to myself hourly)...I'll have hospital security to throw my mother out when she won't respect my requests to leave. Yay. (Yes, it will come to that...she is well meaning but ooozes self-centered-over-excitement. Example-at our wedding, DH and I wanted to see each other for the first time alone with only the photographer present. This of course was not accepted to my mother who believed she has a right to be present for such an intimate moment. It took our wedding coordinator leading her by the hand to outside the church and then throwing her body across the doors. Yeah, I'm serious. She thinks she's above the rules, puts her desires above other's needs and makes espresso nervous.).

Sigh. It will all work out and this is such a minor nuisance in the scheme of life. But it still has greatly increased my anxiety. Of course, for as much worrying energy as I've put into this topic, I'll likely go into labor before then and thus, not even have to worry about it! Other than sitting around and worrying about...everything...I try to get last minute things done. This week I hope to make some casseroles to freeze because we don't know anyone here so there will be no meals coming to our door (And no, my mom can't cook us some to occupy herself, because she can't cook. Great idea though!), as well as finish Christmas preparations (that no one will see but us...oh well).

newest honor blanket ready for donation

I survived two weeks of company and now have the regular calmness and isolation back that I've come to enjoy. I thought I wouldn't have any time to knit while playing hostess, but my recent company was so stuck on her phone around the clock that she was could only carry on a conversation of a few half sentences that she never finished due to fb stealing her brain cells....so....I found my own happy place distraction and picked up my knitting.



My most recent project offered me the privilege of knitting a blanket for donation to Forever Warm in honor of CheekyBub, the far-too-quickly-gone daughter of St Elsewhere who blogs at My Lady of the Lantern. While she is pregnant again, I can only imagine the strength of fears and hopes she is currently experiencing daily while she anticipates her newest arrival while still always mourning the loss of sweet CheekyBub.

(picture doesn't do the sky blue and carrot red colors justice)

I feel so lucky that I had a very small hand in doing something in honor of her that will also help other parents going through a similar tragedy. This blanket, with a very special note, will be mailed this week to Forever Warm. If you'd like to request an honor blanket to be donated in recognition of your own gone-too-soon kiddo or not-here-yet kiddo, please see the post that is linked above or the left side bar for information on this project!

still cooking and the rising anxiety

30 weeks today...my UU, undoubtedly with the help of the the stretch-aiding 17P injections and prayers from all over, has held this kiddo safely (as far as I know) past the 24wk technical viability mark, past the 28wk more true viability mark and into the 30's. We have a growth scan in 10 days to check for IUGR, a common UU risk as they just flat run out of room in their half-a-home. I can't say I trust my body, but I am learning to trust my uterus far more than I will ever trust my failing ovaries! Freaking super UU in my little book.

We've started to allow baby items in the apartment out of supposed necessity of actually needing a few things on the hand when the kiddo might actually come home alive (I only said I was learning to trust...I'm not all the way there yet...thus all the maybe's and might's and hopefully's). I'm so totally grateful for my grandmother's enthusiasm to ensure we have all that we need. So, do I get all drooly, cooing, swooning excited when each item arrives and when I stare at it nightly in the corner of our room. No. No, I don't.  Instead, each item makes me want to crawl in my hole of complete and utterly over the top anxiety and fear. Everything feels like it's far away (does that even makes sense?)--like we're still playing house, as I keep it all at arm's length from me, where I've kept it from years, and I have no idea how to cross that void to total cooing, swooning excitement. I'm pretty sure something is very wrong with me and I'm desperately afraid that I will feel nothing, as in a total lack of connection, when said kid enters the world. I mean, I love being pregnant, though it's so weird after all this time honestly, but I'm just not over the moon about all the kiddo-actually-being-here-stuff like I think I maybe should be.

Yeah, so that's where I'm at. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Doing great while totally screwed up.