First of all, welcome to our roller coaster. We asked to get off the ride long ago, yet we still keep doing the loops. Probably, just like you. Our journey is summarized off to the side. Suffice it to say, it's been a piece of hell on earth. Again, probably like yours. Some days, we have peace. Some days excitement. Some days anger. Some days numbness. I have no doubt the stages of grief apply to infertility, and I consider myself a master at going through them--repeatedly--sometimes a few times an hour even!
And yet....deep breathe....because here we go again....
We are due to start IVF #5 with our new RE when my cycle begins mid-Jan. This is a two month protocol that will be a middle ground of sorts between the two popular agonist and anta.gonist protocols out there, both of which we've tried. Our RE hopes that this plan he is pioneering (read: made up) will suppress me, but not too much so that I still actually respond with the few eggs I do have.
To prepare for this adventure, we made sure we had a good batch of ovulation tests (we had a bad batch once, so this wasn't actually one of my many paranoid unrealistic fears). We also tried to take advantage of knowing the good days (this is one of my many unrealistic delusions though....that we'll finally get pregnant naturally....ha). Also talked to the nurse to straighten out when I was supposed to call her with the headlines news announcement that I started and that I was ovulating (maybe I should just tweet my stats and she can follow there...cuts out on the pesky voicemail that drives me crazy).
So, for now we wait to start (again, in my delusion, I wait to not start) in about two weeks. And we get our meds that will be needed soon after ovulation next month (I'll start Gan.irelix 8d after ovulation). These special meds happen to be on back order. Country-wide. Really? Love the timing. Oh, and we try to find extra money to be able to pay these nice people for yet another IVF round that likely won't work.
I know. I need to be positive. But, wow, that's ridiculously hard, bordering on impossible, when we review our past attempts. However, this time is different. It's a new protocol to fail at. With a new doctor to confound.
Over from Stirrup Queens. :) I've got fingers, toes, etc crossed for you. :)
ReplyDeleteGot referred to you by a good friend of mine, Lifeslurper. I also have a unicornuate uterus and was lucky enough to have a son using donor eggs in Thailand.
ReplyDeleteSorry to read about your difficult journey thus far - it is freaking hell!!
Good luck and I have my fingers crossed for a successful cycle!!